You Don’t Need Zen; You Need a Nap and Better Boundaries
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You Don’t Need Zen; You Need a Nap and Better Boundaries
by Heatherisms™ — A whole collection of my unsolicited wisdom
There’s a rumor going around that the key to happiness is being “zen.”
You know, calm. Peaceful. The kind of person who smiles through chaos and says things like, “It’s all energy.”
Meanwhile, I’m over here muttering, “It’s all energy zappers.”
I don’t need zen. I need a nap, a break from being everyone’s crisis hotline, and the freedom to drink my coffee while it’s still hot.
The Myth of Calm
People love to tell caregivers and overachievers to “just relax.”
Sure. Right after I organize the meds, make the appointments, solve world hunger, and find where the dog hid my sanity.
“Calm” isn’t lost, it’s just buried under the mental tabs I’ve had open since 2013.
I’ve tried all the things: breathing exercises, meditation apps, guided imagery. My “peaceful meadow” visualization now includes a pile of mail, a ringing phone, and someone yelling from the next room, “What do we have to eat?”
At this point, I don’t need a mantra. I need Wi-Fi, boundaries, and 30 minutes where nobody says, “Hey, where’s my…?”
Naps: The Real Enlightenment
You know what’s truly spiritual? Lying horizontal in complete silence while the world keeps spinning without you.
Forget mountain retreats, I’ve found enlightenment curled up in a pile of pretty pillows.
Naps are rebellion with a blanket. They’re how we whisper, “I matter too.”
Because exhaustion isn’t a personality trait. And running yourself into the ground doesn’t make you noble, it just makes you tired and cranky enough to start seeing red flags as home décor.
Rest isn’t a luxury. It’s maintenance. You wouldn’t drive your car until it smokes so stop doing that to your soul.
Boundaries Are the New Self-Care
People act like setting boundaries is cold. It’s not, it’s clarity.
Boundaries are how you love people without losing yourself in the process.
For caregivers, this one hits hard. We spend years believing our worth is measured by how much we can carry. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep anyone else warm.
Say it again:
You. Are. Not. The. Emergency. Contact. For. Everyone’s. Feelings.
You’re allowed to pause the phone calls. You’re allowed to say, “Not today.”
You’re even allowed to silence your phone and pretend you’re at a silent retreat while sitting in your car in the driveway.
That’s not avoidance. That’s survival with class.
The Real Peace
Real peace isn’t found on a mountaintop. It’s found in the five minutes between “I can’t do this anymore” and “Okay, let's do this thing.”
It’s when you finally understand that you don’t have to earn rest or prove strength by breaking.
It’s when you laugh at something absurd because if you don’t, you’ll cry and then realize the laugh is the therapy.
Because we, the caregivers, the fixers, the strong ones, we live in a club that nobody signs up for, but everyone’s grateful to belong to (most of the time).
We don’t do it for recognition.
We do it because we love fiercely, even when we’re running on fumes and sarcasm.
The Heatherisms™ Moment
So no, you don’t need "zen". You just need room to breathe, naps that count, and boundaries sharp enough to cut through guilt.
Take the nap. Close the tab. Don’t apologize for choosing peace over productivity.
And when someone tells you "You make it look so easy,” smile and say:
“Even the fires in hell glow. I’m just trying not to overheat.”
Because you’re not broken. You’re human.
And you’re doing beautifully -- chaos and all.
Shop the Collection → [Heatherisms™]
For the ones rebuilding, the exhausted, and the quietly badass.